Snapchat is a fun and playful app to stay connected and social amongst peers, but it comes with a dark side. I’m all for trust and freedom with youths, but there are some measures I definitely am on board with including the new parental control features on Snapchat. If you allow this platform for your child, or are considering it (I would recommend earliest age 12-13 depending on their social and emotional maturity), then this app can now offer some comfort for the worried parents. You simply need to download the app on your phone and link it to your child’s account. The amazing part is, is that it maintains some privacy which is so important to the trusting relationship you should have with your child. It allows you to know who your kid is messaging, but it does not allow you to see the content. While you may want to know the discussion, this information can be beneficial to see if new or random individuals are connecting with your kid.
Ultimately, having open conversations around safety and social media is up to you. You will want to encourage questions and curiosity so they feel comfortable to come to you to ask about uncomfortable situations or potentially dangerous encounters with online predators. It is also important to know that the platform has been used for the sale of drugs including marijuana but also the more lethal, Fentanyl. The app offers ability to block and report delinquent behaviors.
Additional ways to keep the open communication with your child can look like reducing any shame or judgement-filled responses including statements like, “why would you do that?” or questions that send a message that they should already know they answer such as “don’t you know…” If they knew, they might not have made the mistake in the first place and even if it was an intentional decision, that question can shut down any future responses for teaching and connecting with your child. Other questions to learn more about why your child makes certain decisions, it’s important to ask open ended questions as well as validate their feelings. They might have been curious, feeling risky, feeling sad or lonely. This does not approve of their actions, but makes them feel accepted and supported as they are. Once you work towards them feeling heard and understood, then you can engage in redirection and alternative options. Have them come up with more appropriate or alternative ways of moving through the feeling or have them identify what they could have done instead. Connect then redirect the negative decision and make sure if it was a dangerous one, that there is a plan in place or consequences so that it doesn’t get repeated. If it occurs more than 2-3 instances, then a different consequence or plan may be necessary to eradicate the behaviors.
It is so important to take in all factors when considering social media platforms for adolescents and your unique situation to decide if social media is right for your children. It has the potential to be a positive experience, but does not come without its own challenges. Take note of any negative side effects including addictive traits and time spent on the platforms to be able to find balance between online presence and interacting with the present moment. Also, setting limits around bedtime and if there are academic or other responsibilities that need to be met to be rewarded with a phone or social media in the first place.
Healthy Minds Therapy & Wellness 